I'm not a big fan of Halloween - or any holiday when all the people in the world suddenly decide to descend on my favorite places and act like college freshmen again, thus, I aim to enjoy my birthday enough to be hungover to New Year's Eve each year.
Anyway, if one must go out for Halloween, I think costumes should involve creativity - buying ready-made costumes just seems like cheating. Coming up with something out of my at-home supplies is a challenge. This year I had plans to avoid the holiday altogether, but my aunt sent me an invite to her party, and so I stood in front of my closet and pondered the possibilities. My wardrobe has shrunk over the past two years to focus on work clothes and weekend warrior gear (adventure pants and t-shirts), so there wasn't a whole lot to choose from. The result?
Weekday Walk of Shame.
I created a hairdo my friend Jane would describe as "naughty hair" to top off my raccoon eyes, missing earring, and mis-buttoned shirt. If I'd had a pair of heels I could break one of, my look would have been complete. Off I went, arriving to find my aunt's triangular deck transformed into a pirate ship, complete with cellophane waves and a skeleton bearing a burning tikki torch. I walked in to find my two aunts doling out candy to neighborhood children with skull shaped goblets of wine in their hands. I walked in and gave them each a hug, only to hear, "where is your costume?" and "you're missing an earring!" I explained it was part of the look, but when I said 'walk of shame' there was no recognition in their eyes, and I realized that I had picked the wrong audience for my costume. I also gave them a hard time for the implication that that was how I left the house, but really, I think I'm the loser in this equation...
So the lesson learned? Subtlety has no place on Halloween, and every cliche has an audience. Trick or ... well, there was no treat there.
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